Dungeon Master Critique: Dissecting Justin’s September One-Shot

it's now recording and in two seconds you're going to see up on the top

on the left it's going to show us so interview on you tube you get

kind of behind the scenes look at what we do on how to be a

better d m and there it goes yeah

it is awesome

so i won't show you i won't show you all that boring stuff um because

we're alive so let's hop into it and welcome our listener to how to be

a better dungeon master how to be a better m i'm your host justin lewis

with host tanner wayland here say hello tanner

hey guys

and like always we are here to help you craft better stories for yourselves and

your players as you play dandy today is kind of a special episode it's a

new type of episode that we're on start doing and the idea for this actually

came from tanner and so so major props to him because i think this is

unique in the space before we get to that let's talk about at least one

announcement and that is thank you to everyone who participated in the give away that

happened last week it was awesome seeing everyone kind of turn out and really we're

just really grateful for your support we can't thank you oh anything you want to

add to that tanner

i mean honestly we just we just love what's happening and and all the people

that we get to interact with so thank you

exactly h h the next announcement is that we're going to postpone all the announcement

until the end of the show so stick around for

m

those extra tid bits but let's get to the main meet of today's show which

is dissecting one shot that i posted back in september so tanner's idea actually tender

you can explain it

yeah

if you want

i just thought in terms of how to be better d m in general a

big aspect of improving in whatever field you're in and this isn't necessarily a field

but whatever you're doing

oh

pere review and commentary

oh

can really be a benefit that

yeah

everybody you know certainly for me i feel like all twenty nine years of my

life any time someone's like given me criticism it's been one really good for me

to very ard to take

yeah

and that's why it's like that's why you know first things first we're going to

be critiquing like past

yeah

justin's like deming sty all right you would never want to do this to to

a dem's face because that that's not the right place for

m

it it's it's not going to come down

m

it's not going to

yeah

go down smooth so what saying is we

m

thought there would be a great idea to kind of look at this recording and

no comment on like what went well what you know what could have gone better

and

he

you know just our thoughts in general about the deming approach yeah

exactly a couple of things i'd add

m

the main goal of this is to like we said craft the best story experience

for d m and the players so we're not going to pull any punches my

feelings are protected within myself nothing can get in my heart t sticks

yep

and stones so tanner you know let it rip but with that said we're not

going a you know pick at things that are maybe esthetic um it's fine to

share things like oh i would have done this because i think this

okay

is a cool idea that's to fine but we're not going to say you know

the color red in this instance is better than the color blue unless for some

symbolic reason that i'm not bright enough to see because i'm not a writer but

anyways you know what i mean the whole point is to really say hey at

this point you missed an opportunity of high lighting character weakness by doing blah or

things like that and the audio may or may not be particularly good or bad

this is a new thing so bear with us if it is bad and also

if we miss things we'd love to hear what you think send us to our

in sits and also in the future if you'd like us to critique one of

your dungeon and dungeons and dragon sessions you could also reach out to us and

maybe we could set something like that up

that sounds

but

actually

i think

really

that's

good

everything

but

and

anyway yeah

yeah yeah well let's go ahead and get started and the way we're going to

do this is we're going to play the clip of the one shot and then

if either of us have a comment we'll just say hey can you stop that

or i'll just stop that i guess tanner you tell me this stop

perfect

it and then i'll just stop

yeah

it if i need to and here we go

i'm also gonna skip ahead a little bit trying to get to actual the game

play

go call

shoot i hope i think i might have broken it well okay yeah

yeah yeah

okay

yeah

m

m

so first thought

m

tanner and i'd actually like to get your opinion

oh

on this because i go back and forth so uh i first started my role

playing game career in the fantasy flight system

yeah

specifically in star wars that's where i first played and in that system specifically in

the starward system they encourage you to talk in terms of synematic experience including screen

wipes and kind of things like that in this one shot that is the only

moment where i kind of i think i might have done it at the end

but i'm pretty sure that's the only moment where i kind of talk in terms

of synematically this is what you see um what's your opinion that on that because

i kind of go back

yeah

and

yeah

forth

no honestly i love it i've seen i've listened to a lot of podcasts

m

live plays where some people do that and some people don't i think that the

m well first off i think that you did very well with with the way

that you presented the city you had what seemed like i'm assuming it was prepared

paragraph about the city good because because you can tell

correct

because it came out you know it wasn't halting it you know really set a

tone so the music was a great great piece

oh

to that to set the ambiance but i think in terms of the like presenting

it scynematically it's like okay we pan across and we see each player as they

cress the hill think that's great because people now think in terms of movies pretty

often and if you're just trying to set a tone as a d m cynematics

totally works right like the amount of time i've done

yeah

like kind

ah

of like i've like mentioned a little montague you know or i'm like okay so

your players doing this

hm

now if there's a montague what would it look like you know and and

oh

players recognize what i'm trying to get across on many ways it helps them express

themselves in a way that frankly being like okay i do this and then i

do that and then you know it doesn't it doesn't work as well right

yeah i do like the mintage aspect especially i think that might be something that

people could use a little bit more especially in travel i kind of dislike evil

and it could be easy to be like all right in a travel montag what

are two or three things that each of your characters might do in this week

long sequence or something

yeah

you know

and i think that using essentially camera angles

oh

to describe

yeah yeah

you know what you see i think that it helps players understand

ah

when you're trying to be cometic understand when you're trying to be more thriller or

horror like when those are the kind of things you're trying to evoke it's like

oh you find out what the players doing and then you say hey let's let's

surprise them but not surprise them by being like okay you're sneaking and then this

instead you can be like okay you're sneaking as you go as you press you

back to the corner the camera pans to the right and there's eyes you know

you can really

uh

play with that a lot

h

but

oh

anyway i don't want to hold up too much but great point

yeah yeah i think the last thing i would add is if you are going

to use this method stay consistent with it throughout your session or your damning experience

don't waffle back and forth or don't use one instance like me and then just

go to normal play or whatever i think it makes for a little bit more

continuity so

m

continuing yeah

m

ye yeah

oh yeah all right i got to talk about the dungeon master right now so

biggest problem is the dungeon master did not fix the audio beforehand so in my

opinion the music is a little bit

yep

too loud and that's you know that could be result of the software i was

using however that's still my responsibility and at this moment one of my character one

of my players is describing his character which is probably you know if you re

at one shot like i am with players who have never been together it's like

the moment where each player gets to be like i reveal how cool i am

and here i am not even freaking paying attention typing and you can actually hear

the typing so it's obvious that not paying attention uh failure

uh

on this so

i'm

definitely

glad you brought it up because i think especially in a world

oh

of streaming which a lot of us are playing games that way we don't realize

that you know we have to think about etiquette you know uh online

h

etiquette

m

and

ah

frankly as a as a d m i totally get why you're typing because i'm

like oh he's probably typing up the character

uh

description and

h

things

oh

like that right i don't know if you were but

yeah

i'm assuming um and it kind of makes me think i'm like you know what

as a d m really

yeah

even if we're at a computer we should be having like pen and paper you

know um

yeah

just at least for taking on going notes and then you can up date a

google talk or something later right but at least for

yeah

the session you know

oh

go just the most quiet option that you can so that you can still take

notes but you're not going to disrupt

yeah

the player as far as the audio stuff i think that's

yeah

you know that's just kind of a modern problem like of having to figure out

the balance there so i don't really knock you for that since it's more experiential

that way

sure i only knocked me because i could have muted myself which is an obvious

fix um and i could have worked on the audio prior to the the one

shot other than that though continuing

yeah

oh

i think calling people out

oh

by name is a good

yeah

way to speed

oh

that up just a simple point you know

yeah

especially if you're not very even if you are friends like or like very well

and comfortable with each other um it just helps if you as a dam like

okay your turn your urn you you know it just speeds it up same as

for combat you know

yeah

anyway

i think that's a very important point especially in this instance these are players who

have never played with each other they're still trying to figure out kind of the

not the nature pecking order but the flow of conversation you know who generally speaks

who doesn't it would have been excellent for me to step in and be like

okay you next oh and after you is you know i think that would have

been a very useful way to help

yeah

them

i absolutely agree anyway a small point though

yeah hopefully it loads yeah and honestly i think this is a good juncture well

this is loading to also add one of the feed one of the bits of

feedback that i got uh from this this one shot was from rob he's in

the bottom left there he said that for things like this it might be beneficial

to open up before the one shot kind of chat room or you know let

your players talk together get to know one another strategize a little bit and kind

of have sort of a session zero

yeah

almost ere they get to know each other and each other strengths

yeah

and weaknesses and things like

yeah

that

kind of like almost like a little metaphorical bar room or in you know

yeah

like table for them to kind of like essentially just get to

hm

know each other build somethin of that comrade or even if it's like we think

like oh that's wasting time you could spend five ten minutes tops out of a

three hour session

hm

and you're good you know like and that's like already improved the atmosphere a whole

lot yeah i think rob's absolute you're right about that

yeah let's see if it's loaded now

ry refreshing okay uh let's say three o one

we're

let's

booking

hope

it

i'm refreshing the page

ah

now

so

yeah

this is going to take a while guys

i don't know

but

about

yeah

you

sorry

yeah seriously sorry guys i don't know about you but refreshing pages for me is

always like a crab shoot i'm always like is this going to destroy everything

that

you

i care

know

about and love yes yes i do know um

so far oh

red

gosh

carpet yep

by the way riverside it's an awesome service

it

guys

is

all right so let's see it's loading still

yeah so um also like for these players do you feel like they

yeah

did you have a second to talk with them before you started recording ah

yes um m or maybe not i want to say yes no actually i'm very

sure that i did not i started recording and then i kind of explained things

to them briefly so that's another thing that probably could have been better specifically in

an online format you definitely want to take time to talk to your players and

say hey this is how things are going to go in prep and then i

could have said hey make sure you have headphones

yeah

make sure you have a microphone um just all the technical aspects of

yeah

it you know

honestly great idea

let's see if this one works now okay

there you go

obviously oh that's too far

the

okay that's good enough buffering it's going to be a little bit before um okay

my

oh

oh ah

yeah

oh

oh that kills me

yeah

i have to say it kills me

hm

yeah

just letting it sink in love it perfect

yeah the same spot

faking oh

well we got three minutes in maybe if i if i just move it forward

that always works right uh uh

o is easy

dear heavens

and money

wait

m

ye

there you go you learned you got it

oh yeah did you want to say something

no i was just saying that you got it eventually that you

yeah

called him out you were like her

yeah

go like you're learning

yeah

that

even even mid session you can learn also i do have to say the characters

that they came up with are really cool

yeah

i really did enjoy their characters

i know

so

m

ah oh oh oh oh

m

m yeah

um one thing that i would mention

yeah

um so

go ahead oh

i love i love their descriptions one thing that i think like as a listener

um that i think a dmkiden't really do is having like a question i wouldn't

like drag it on

m

by having like after each person introduces

m

you know asking a question about them it could be topical about like oh you

just were practicing active listening and then you just noticed like oh they mentioned this

thing let's ask them about that or i would probably go with the very simple

like okay if if someone noticed your player what's the first thing they noticed um

and that kind of helps the other players i think as well like when they're

interacting kind of like it's something to hold on to in terms in terms of

an image you know

yeah especially you know as i was listening to myself and i do this a

lot someone says something and then i'm like excellent next topic and i don't really

have a transition uh using your technique in this instance i've set the scene there's

a hill there

yep

cresting over the weather's doubt they're getting a glimpse of the city it's easy it

would be easy to be like and what is isaac how does isaac react to

this foul weather and then that's that's

perfect

like a micro play you know where you show is doing something and then how

does chases character i forgot his name how does cazes character what's his expression when

he sees the town or something like that and you kind of give like a

or a role play session for

yeah

each of these and i think that's a really good way to envelop them a

little

hm

bit more yeah

oh oh

m

yeah

oh

ye

m

oh yeah

yeah yeah

oh

oh

yeah

so two thoughts one my chair is super squeaky

oh

and as an online d m that is important because as the d m you're

going to be talking more anyone else so you need to and you naturally gesticulate

in all that thing those things i think

oh

it would be worth it to find a better chair or a less squeaky terror

or something some fix it so that way every time you move you're not hearing

you know

oh

distracting noises that kind of pull you out of the immersion second note is back

when i described to rise and her connection to isaac i simply said oh isaac

you remember teresa from long time ago i think that was a missed opportunity

m

to say or maybe kind of paint a little bit more of the character of

teresa and say oh isa you know teresa for a long time ago when you

met her in a small village outside of the grand city the grand city of

so and so and there she was teaching a small class of of younglings primary

school or you know just kind of tell you a little bit about her just

simply i establish in that connection a little bit better yes

yeah i hear that

yeah yah

in terms of the chair

h

i didn't notice it personally uh maybe because i was just listening which which is

a great thing you know

uh

when you already know what you're going to say you're noticing

oh

the chair more for the rest of us who do

yeah

don't including the players we're not focusing as much on that but of course you

know always something to think about i agree i think here's the thing with campaign

with one shot you there there's kind of a requisite amount of exposition right same

same as bigger one

m

but with one shot it's like hey

yeah

if you want them to get to the action then

ah

you can't

ah

really do the natural know not exposition heavy you know think you kind of

hm

need a maid and butler scene is you know what they kind of call it

where

yeah

you know they're just like oh this is what's happening adam

h

however i

m

feel like with this i thought that you were doing really well leading into it

i saw some missed opportunities one i think i would have waited on the mayor

or i would have honestly i probably would have waited on the mayor for either

one of two opportunities i would have started out with being like hey um isaac

so happy to see you also good job in the voices

thank you

but i would have kind of like oh isa you know or do your suggestion

of kind of you know another option if you don't want

ah

to tell the player how their character knows teresa

yeah

and other

oh

option is like okay your character has known teresa since you were a child and

i'm going to and then let them know it's like i'm going to give you

a little bit of lee way here how did you know her you know

hm

and and maybe it'd be even fun i had the idea i was like it'd

be fun to be like okay was you character ever romantically involved

oh

or you know

uh

or anything like that

h yeah

like how would you describe your relation like give them some creative license because it's

not like they're going to go crazy

hm

all right at least you hope not but just be like hey your friends with

her how are you friends with her i want to get your kind of opinion

then i think that gives him a chance to create but i kind

ah

of digress i think the mayor could have been held off until like breakfast and

like have breakfast happen and have like a good actual interaction where the players start

interacting

yeah

start asking questions and then maybe as they're leaving they run to the mayor so

they've like had a chance to of ask her and do that i would honestly

oh

even maybe space it out a little bit more like because i know how this

adventure goes because i've played with you before but they could go to one of

the locations and then on their way back

yeah

they run to the mayor then right you don't have to introduce everybody at the

start you can and there's ways to do that but if you feel like you're

too exposition heavy at the start just you know you can space it out

yeah i definitely think that's a good idea m m i was trying to figure

out a way to like okay if you're listening spoiler alert if i ever if

you ever play this one shot with me i was trying to kind of get

them to start being like oh that marriage kind of untrustworthy and trying to point

them towards the mayor

i saw

but

you doing

i

that

do think you're right

like the smoking gun you ere you were like kind of like oh

exactly

i saw you trying to do that

it's

yeah

like hey he's e's a shifty guy but you're definitely right you know in they

could either meet the mayor on the way to or from one of the first

places they invest

smart

a gate um almost seeming like he's going in a similar direction so you're like

you kind of wonder like wait was he going to that place was he not

m i think the placement of the mirror would be would be a better way

to re structure that because that could also my idea was at each of the

locations they investigate they find us uh and instead of finding a clue that could

simply run into the mayor before or after and that could start to arouse suspicion

towards the mayor i think that's a good point

okay

especially because like the closer in my opinion

m

somewhat contrived so just meeting the mayor might be

yeah

a lot

if he's

easier

coming

and better

from like the farmer's house or whatever right and you're like

hm

what

hm exactly i think we have reached our time

m

limit for today so we will have to do this again

yeah

well depending on what you guys think

yeah

about it anyway

i mean

swords

i guess

tanner

this is kind of an ongoing thing i don't think we'll be able to cover

everything in the future and also anybody who's you

m

know this is our first time

yeah

we're getting used to you know playing these

uh

videos and then pausing and

h

everything thanks for setting that up just but you know in the future

hm

we plan on making it a little bit smoother so we can jump to specific

parts or whatever

oh yeah

but yeah i think it's impossible to cover everything because because we can always be

better and there's all things that you did well that we can look at and

we'll get to it but

hm

there's a chance we don't finish all of this this specific one shot but we'll

keep doing this kind of thing you know if you guys enjoy it because

yep

i've enjoyed it i think it's kind of a very practical way to approach it

oh yeah i like it too because it does allow me to look in kind

of a third person perspective at the one shot you know when when you create

it you're like yeah this is great or yeah this is well but seeing it

this way it's a lot better and actually on that note tender and moving into

ourannouncements we're gonna keep kind of doing these dissection we need to come up with

a better name for it but critiques maybe of this one shot until december because

that's when you'll be doing the next one shot sorry let me back up we

had a one shot in october but that was a guest host we have a

one shot in november which is also a guest host and then there's the one

shot in december which will be and i don't think i don't want to critique

other guest hosts because they're nice enough to come

exactly

on and be

yeah

our guest host so yeah but on that note listener if you want to sign

up for the next one shot it will be on november nineteenth at five p

m mountain time i believe and we have a couple spots left and it's free

so go to better dungeon master dot com slash one dash shot the host is

rob from dungeons dragons and psychology we've had him on the podcast before he's an

let dungeon master have been doing this for years and honestly i'm really stoked to

see what comes out of it so again better dungeon master dot com slash one

dash shot the next big as we have is for you to you know give

back for all that we've done all the episodes that we've created and all the

help that we've done and the simple way that you can do that is by

going to better dungeon master dot com slash feedback and actually giving us your opinion

you know how people say opinions are like feet everyone has them and they think

that's not true we want your opinion we want to know what you think what

problems you're facing as a dungeon master that we can help solve so again go

to better dungeon master dot com slash feedback and and give back for for what

we've done in creating this by allowing us to help you become a better dungeon

master i think those are all the announcements ten or do you have anything else

you'd like to share with our listener

no i mean we'll certainly see you before then but hope you're all excited for

the holidays because i am that that's

yeah

that's all i got to

yeah

got to throw that out there because i'm stoked

yeah

m

i hear you it's like every year like around october i'm like christmas seems like

such a chore and then like october finishes

yeah

and i'm like wow i'm excited for christmas it's funny

i know

how that

this

happens

this year is going

yeah

to be interesting kirsty and i we've already put up decorations

yeah

and for the listener we're recording

yah

this

h

you know in early november and that never happens kirsty's

m

my wife is very

m

much like hey we don't touch christmas until after thanksgiving and we're changing

h

that this year

m

because we're actually moving into our new house in in december and so that's going

to be just what a good time just mixing

oh

the busiest time of the year

h

with with just moving that's that's going to be a party but

h

but we're excited

oh

christmas spirit all up in here love it ah

yeah moving sucks christmas is is better so you got that looked forward to so

um ah thank you listener for being here and thank you for supporting the show

will be back next week with another amazing episode but until then let's go ahead