Welcome back to How to Be a Better DM, the Official Podcast of Monsters.Rent, the only rental subscription service for D&D minis.
I’m your host today, Justin Lewis, and today, you and I will talk about a topic that affects every gaming group at least once in their campaign. To be honest, it’s somewhat a thorn in my side as I personally hate when this happens. It can interupt the flow of the game and cause some confusion as far as the story goes as well. It’s a plague, and today we will find the cure…
But before we get to that, I just want to let you know that we want to hear from you, literally. We want to start featuring some listener questions or tips on the show, so go to Instagram, then go to @monsters.rent and send us a message, either audio, video or text, of a question you want answered, or a tip you have found helpful in your DMing experience. We’ll mention it on the show and also give you a quick shoutout. We realized that you have a wealth of experience that should be shared as well. So why not share it. Again, go to @monsters.rent on Instagram and send us a message and we’ll get it up on show.
So, the plague that I was talking about earlier? It’s when a player misses a session or can’t make a particular session.
Let’s take a scenario. This is a text thread between you and your group.
DM: D&D tonight at 6. Does that work for everyone?
Alex: Yup, I can’t wait.
Sean: Of course bruh, I’ll bring the soda.
Maddy: I’ll bring snacks. Does everyone like Japanese Algae candy.
Alex: No way, that stuff’s gross.
Maddy: Alex, I saw you eat like 10 handfuls of the stuff last week.
Jerry: I’m really sorry guys, I can’t make it tonight…
The rest of the thread: stunned silence for the next 3 hours.
This is a very common situation. The reason why there is stunned silence in the text thread for the next 3 hours is because every wants to play D&D that night. Jerry is the only one not able to make it. Everyone else is wondering, “What do we do?”
That is, in part what I want to talk about today. What do you do?
First off, let’s talk about what you can do and then let’s talk about why and when you should or shouldn’t do any particular thing.
I also want to make it very clear. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to play D&D without one of your players there. It happens. Also, don’t feel guilty for rescheduling for a later time. I’ve said this before, but D&D is a hobby and other things take precedence sometimes. That said, let’s talk about your options.
Here are, as I see them your only options:
That’s everything you can do. That last one might be somewhat…. Hmmm I think the word is illegal… but you get what I mean.
So now that we know what can be done, let’s talk about what should be done….
Probably the least the desirable option is to reschedule the session. This is likely the least desirable because it’s assumed that everyone in the group wants to play D&D. This is essentially making everyone suffer. I’m not bitter, I’m just stating the facts.
Sometimes though, it is the right choice.
The most common reason for a rescheduling is that multiple people in the group can’t make it. You’ll have to come up with your own hard and fast rules, but in my group, if 3 people can’t make it, then for sure we are rescheduling. If 2 people can’t make it, then it’s like 85% sure that we are rescheduling. If 1 person can’t make it, it’s 60% sure that we are rescheduling.
I would say that rescheduling, regardless of the right choice, is likely the easiest option for the DM. Everything else is somewhat more involved.
Now, I will say, just because you reschedule DND doesn’t mean that you have to reschedule games. You could still meet up with the members of the group who can make it and play a different game or even play a one-shot. There’s nothing wrong with that. For that reason alone, rescheduling is a very powerful option when it comes to a player missing a session.
It’s also a good option because you don’t really have to make any other considerations.
So with that, let’s transition away from this option that is really the simplest and easier, and let’s make things a bit m ore complicated.
So, for the next few options, we are assuming that only one player is absent and that the DM and the rest of the group have decided to proceed forward regardless of their absence.
Now, you have to make a choice as the DM as to what happens to the character who, for the time being, is without a puppet-master.
The next obvious and next easiest method here is to simply have that character present, but not doing anything. Whenever roleplaying situations happen, that character doesn’t interact and just is a walking potato.
This method might work, but more often than not, it will be comical to the other players who will ask, “What does Gregarious do in this situation” to which you’ll have to respond as the DM, “Gregarious seems zoned out and doesn’t really respond to the rest of you.”
While funny, this method sort of breaks the 4th wall, remind you and your players that this a game and decreasing the overall immersion.
If your players are wonderful and considerate players, they may not mess around with the C (it’s just a character since the P or Player is missing).
I don’t prefer this method because it’s far too easy to just transition to one of the other methods anyways. I feel like doing it this way with the Character being present but Not-participating is just a non-decision, as if the DM couldn’t decide what to do.
Besides we all know that as soon as combat happens, it will be as if the character isn’t there or someone will take control over the, so let’s talk about the other methods because those are much more likely.
One method you can employ is the Present-And-Subbed method. In this method, you let someone else at the table take control of the character. For all intents and purposes the missing player is being “subbed” or substituted by another player at the table.
If you do go with this method, I would put a couple of stipulations on the gameplay.
First of all, I would recommend that the subbing player does not do any roleplaying for missing player. I recommend this because no one wants words put in their mouths so if you have someone playing for you there is a chance that things would be said that the original player would never say or things would not be said that the original player would say. It just gets really confusing really fast. I would just avoid it.
Next, and this actually has to apply whether you or another are controlling the missing PC, but can they die. In my games, if you are not present, your character can’t die. That’s just because I don’t trust myself or my rolls enough to keep characters alive, so if you were going to die and bleed out, you don’t because you are “on loan” and that’s just not fair. In your games, are characters whose players are gone able to die?
If they can, make sure the missing player knows that. In fact, that should be a table rule set up at the beginning of the campaign before any players are ever missing.
You also need to decide if the missing player has the right to Retcon anything when they return. In my opinion, I would opt against this except for various roleplaying aspects. When it comes to the major choices, the player shouldn’t get to choose what happens when they are gone. That said, the players controlling them shouldn’t be able to make any big decisions with them either. When a character is being subbed they should really almost just be an NPC that gets to help the party in combat. Simple.
That last option that allows the character to still remain present is controlling them yourself as the DM. In my opinion, this can be pretty simple to do, but it can also get annoying. For example, if your players use digital character sheets that you the DM can see then it gets a little easier to play the character. If they don’t then you’ll have to keep track of a sheaf of papers.
Also, the more obvious consideration is that as the DM you are controlling scores of baddies. Do you really want to be in charge of another character during combat? My general opinion is to give a player control over the character during combat at the very least depending on how many adversaries there are. If there is just one, then I’m find doing it
So if keeping a character around is so energy and focus consuming, why would anyone choose to keep the character present instead of just having them leave?
There are a few reasons.
The first reason is that, depending on your party and table rules, the character has to be present to gain XP. That’s how it works in video games, but that may or may not be how it works at your table, for example, I prefer to just have everyone in my party level up at the same time based on story points. That’s because I don’t like math. Also, I don’t have players who leave for extended periods of time.
The second reason a DM might choose to have a character stick around while their player is not present is because they are integral to the current story at hand. This might be the same reason that you choose to reschedule the session if a player is not around, because they need to be present to make certain decisions. Having the character participate without the player is not an ideal situation but it does allow the story to move on and it makes it so the entire party isn’t just waiting on the one person.
The third reason is that it doesn’t make sense for the character to just disappear. There are different ways to make the character disappear which we’ll talk about next, but if you are in the middle of a dungeon or stuck on a speeding train, having the character just say, “Gotta go” doesn’t make sense and breaks the immersion.
So now that we’ve talk about keeping the character present, let’s talk about having the character be absent in addition to their player.
There are in my opinion 3 ways to make this happen.
You can have the character stay behind.
You can have the character actively choose to leave.
Or you can have something else pull the character away.
When you have the character stay behind, this is simply that the party decides to go somewhere and the character decides to remain where they are waiting for the rest of the party to return. I saw a great example of this in High Rollers, the group from the UK when one of the players was not there they had her character, Nova, just stay at the inn. Obviously this worked because the party was staying at an inn in a city. If there were in the middle of a desert without food or water, having the character stay behind would be nonsense.
When you have your character leave, the character decides that another path is more important than traveling with the party, even for a short time. In the 2nd campaign of Critical Role, Yasha did this multiple times because the player had other commitments.
When you choose this method, you have to have the player or yourself come up with a logical reason as to why the character left. If the reason is, “Because I wanted to find mushrooms in the forest,” that either fits with your campaign or your character or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, the other players will not find that a rewarding answer.
More than anything, when a character leave the party and comes back, that should be an excellent opportunity to develop the story arc of that character, providing great roleplaying for the party when the character returns. So don’t waste it. Use it as an opportunity to have something cool happen.
Speaking of the character coming back, when a character leaves, you will have to decide if they will come back or not. If the character was just a temporary thing, or the player wants to have a new character then having them leave is not a bad thing.
In most cases though, the character will come back, and that means that you and the player who was missing need to figure out a plausible reason not only for why the character leave but more importantly, why they came back and how they came back.
In some instances, it’s easy.
Nicholas Tracagious left to go commune with his deity in the forest. He came back because he was done. The only reason that specific scenario could work is because in this case, the party remained in the same city, able to move freely. If the party had been embroiled in a dungeon, then having Nick Tracagious show up would be somewhat weird, unless, his deity in the forest had shown him a specific place in the dungeons where he could special psychedelic mushrooms and the place where those mushrooms are found just so happen to coincide with where the party is. Honestly, even that scenario would seem a little too coincidental.
A quick sidenote though.
D&D is your story. That means that even though some things might seem coincidental, it isn’t because you are the weaver, tying all the threads together, weaving a great and beautiful tapestry. Was it a coincidence that Han Solo and Chewbaca were in the Mos Eisley cantina when Ben Kenobi went looking for a way off planet? Or was it the force? Was it just coincidence that Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli were all present at the Council of Rivendel or were they destined to be there. It doesn’t matter, because they were there. Sometimes I analyze things too much and fall into the trap of thinking, “What a funny coincidence that those two characters are there,” and then decide not to make that part of the story happen. In movies and stories, “coincidences” happen all the time, and honestly that might be why the stories or the movies even have a plot, because of the “coincidences”. So, I know I say that you have to make things “make sense”, and I know that I’ve been using a “lot of air quotes”, but just as long as your story is gripping and entertaining, don’t worry to much about it.
Side note over.
So, thinking about reasons why a character would return, there are a few possiblities, but obviously, if you can think it up, then it will probably work.
The simplest reason is that, like what I’ve already mentioned, the character that left finished the thing they went to do, so they came back. Simple, easy, doesn’t need much more explanation than that.
Another simple reason is that the thing they went to do lead them back to the party anyways. This method is great if you want to tie in the reason they come back with what the party has going on right now. An example of this would be DewStar the Druid left because she had a strange vision about her communing with nature in a white glade. She leaves, finds the white glade, and while there has another vision about finding a black glade and her party. She starts her search. She finds the black glade, right as a Death Night begins attacking her party in the very black glade she saw in her vision. After the party dispatches the black glade, DewStar discovers that at the center of the glade there is the grave of an ancient druid who’s spirit is at unrest for some reason. See, the character left and returned, both seemingly for plot points.
Another simple reason is that the missing character had their own agenda and then whatever the party was doing leads the party to the missing character. It’s somewhat similar to the previous reason, but there are slight differences. In this case, the missing character doesn’t really have any intention of returning to the party, or they intend to return much later. The party then, does the returning, surprising everyone involved.
When it comes down to it, you don’t need to make it make sense, unless you want to dwell on the fact. If you just want to gloss over that so-and-so returned from skinny dipping in a mountain lake, that’s fine. Gloss over and move on. The rest of your party will move on too, no problem. If you do want to spend time on, make sure that it’s a satisfying and fulfilling answer to the question of, “Why did you come back here and now.”
While we are on the subject of players missing sessions and things like that, I think it would be apropos to talk about how communication around missing sessions happen.
Here’s the truth of it: it will change on a case by case basis.
Here’s the ideal that we all strive for: Every missing player alerts the group at least a couple days in advance.
I know things don’t always pan out that way, but it’s best to alert the group as soon as you know you will be missing so the group can make decisions and plan what they will do.
For example. This previous week, I was sick. I was hoping I would feel better by the time the day of our session came around, but I wasn’t. So I texted the group that I couldn’t do it that day. On other occasions, members of our group have had conflicts and they’ve alerted us that they would be out of town a week in advance.
This allows the rest of us to decide if we will continue playing anyways or if we will hold off and wait until they get back. So really the only rule for communication is communicate early, clearly and often.
What do you do if the missing player is integral to the story?
Here’s where I put on my Tough Love hat.
The simple fact of the matter is that you will have to decide yourself. But let me tell you that no decision is wrong. If you decide to move along with the story, that’s totally fine. In fact, maybe the player being gone will help you write a more creative story. Either way, you are the DM, you are ultimately the person with the most control over the session and whether it happens. Yes, your players may all decide to skip a week, but you get to decide if the week is skipped any time you want. Don’t forget that. Also, lord that over your players in a really jerky way. Just know that if a player is missing, and their character happens to be a big decision maker right in the center of what’s going on in the story right now, you can play without them. They may not like that, but if that’s what it takes to keep your group playing and having fun, then do it.
From sickness, to work trips, to family conflicts, our players will have lots of reasons why they may or may not be able to make the session happen. That’s probably especially true in this next month and a half as we move towards Christmas and the New Year. When your player turns up missing, don’t feel discouraged. Instead look at the options we talked about to see if there is a way to make your session happen. If the player remains missing for more than 48 hours call the police. In the end, what matters is that everyone is having fun.
Thanks for listening to today’s episode, make sure you head over to Instagram and give us a follow. You can find us at monsters.rent. Send us a message and tell us anything I missed today. We’d love to hear it. Also, if you have a tip or bonus message you want to share, send it to us there and we’ll make it go live on the show in the next week.
Thanks again and we’ll be back next week with another show. Until then, let’s roll initiative.
Welcome to How to be a Better DM.
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:I'm Justin Lewis, I'm your host today, and
I'm excited to have today's conversation.
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:This is How to be a Better DM.
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:Welcome back to How to be a Better DM.
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:Now let's.
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:Welcome back to How to be a Better DM, the
official podcast of Monsters.Rent, the
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:only subscription service for D&D minis.
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:I'm your host today, Justin Lewis, and
today I'm going to talk with you about a
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:topic that affects every gaming group at
least once in their campaign, in their
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:career.
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:And to be honest, it's something that's
kind of been a thorn in my side as of
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:late, and personally I hate it when this
happens.
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:It can interrupt the flow of the game and
cause some confusion in the story as well.
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:And honestly, it's just a plague.
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:So today, let's talk about the cure.
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:Also, I am trying something new with the
music, so if it's too loud, I sincerely
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:hope it isn't.
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:I actually might change some of the volume
right now if I can.
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:And I can't.
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:Wait.
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:There, I think the volume is better now.
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:Okay, I adjusted the music, it should be
good now.
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:I adjusted the music, it should be good
now.
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:And, but before we get to the rest of the
episode, I also wanted to let you know
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:that we want to hear from you listeners.
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:Literally, actually.
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:We want to start featuring some listener
questions or tips or segments on the show.
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:So, go to Instagram.
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:You can either go to monsters.rent as the
profile or howtobetabetterdm as the
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:profile.
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:and follow us obviously, but send us a
message, either video, audio, or text, of
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:a question that you want answered, or a
question you want to answer, or a tip that
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:you have, really anything, and we'll
mention it on the show, as well as give
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:you a quick shout out, and we realize that
you, the listener, and all the listeners
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:out there, have a wealth of experience
that should be shared as well, so why not
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:share it?
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:Again, go to Instagram.
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:at Monsters.Rent or at HowToBeAvatarDM,
send us a message and we will get it up on
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:the show.
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:So the plague that I was talking about
earlier is when a player misses a session
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:or can't make a particular session.
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:Okay, to start off, let's take a quick
scenario.
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:This is a text thread between you and your
group.
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:DM, D&D tonight at six.
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:Does that work for everyone?
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:Alex, yup, I can't wait.
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:Of course, bruh.
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:I'll bring the soda.
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:Maddie, I'll bring snacks.
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:Does everyone like Japanese algae candy?
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:Alex, no way.
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:That stuff's gross.
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:Maddie, Alex, I saw you eat like 10
handfuls of the stuff last week.
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:Jerry, uh, I'm really sorry guys.
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:I can't make it tonight.
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:Obviously, the rest of the thread goes on
in stunned silence for the next three
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:hours.
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:No one responds.
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:This is a very common situation.
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:And the reason why there is a stunned
silence in the text thread for the next
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:three hours is because everybody wants to
play D&D that night.
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:Jerry is the only one not able to make it
and everyone is wondering, what do we do
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:now?
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:That is in part what I wanted to talk
about today.
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:What do you do when this happens?
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:First off, let's talk about what you can
do and then let's talk about
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:why and when you should or shouldn't do
any particular one thing.
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:I also want to make it very clear, don't
feel guilty for wanting to play D&D
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:without one of your players there.
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:It happens.
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:Also, don't feel guilty for rescheduling
for a later time.
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:I've said this before, but D&D is just a
hobby, unless it's your livelihood, but
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:other things will probably take precedence
over D&D.
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:Sometimes, at least.
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:That said though, let's talk about your
options.
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:As far as I can see, here are your only
options.
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:Number one, reschedule the session for a
different time.
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:Number two, play anyway.
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:Number three, kidnap the delinquent
player, duct tape them to the chair, wax
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:their eyebrows off for their impertinence
for missing a session, and play anyways.
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:Obviously number three isn't as practical,
but it's way more fun.
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:And since it's not as practical, we're not
gonna talk about that one.
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:It's also kind of self-explanatory.
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:So if you do that, please don't say you
got the idea from me when it comes out on
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:national television.
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:Anyways, those three, technically two
things are the only things you can do.
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:And that's what we want to talk about.
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:So now that we know what we can do, let's
talk about what you should do.
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:Number one, rescheduling the session.
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:probably the least desirable option is to
reschedule the session.
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:And it's likely the least desirable
because it's assumed that everyone in the
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:group wants to play D&D.
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:That's why they're in the group.
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:And this is exactly, this is essentially
going to make everyone suffer, right?
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:I'm not better.
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:Rescheduling is just gonna make everyone
suffer.
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:I'm not bitter, I promise.
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:I'm just stating the facts.
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:Even though I am a little bit bitter.
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:No one wants to reschedule, but sometimes
it is the right choice.
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:The most common reason for rescheduling is
that multiple people in the group can't
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:make it.
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:You're going to have to come up with your
own hard and fast rules, but in my group,
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:if three people can't make it, then for
sure we're rescheduling.
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:That's like set in stone.
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:If two people can't make it, then it's
like 85% sure that we're going to
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:reschedule and if one person can't make
it, then it's, it's still like 60 to 70%.
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:sure that we're probably going to
reschedule and that's because I don't
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:generally have a spine.
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:I would say that rescheduling, regardless
of the right choice, is likely the easiest
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:option for the DM.
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:Everything else is just a little bit more
involved, right?
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:I will say just because you reschedule D&D
doesn't mean that you have to reschedule
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:games or reschedule hanging out with your
friends.
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:You could still meet up with the members
of the group who can make it and play a
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:different game.
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:or even just play a one-shot that you come
up with on the spot or have in your back
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:pocket.
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:There's nothing wrong with that.
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:And for that reason alone, rescheduling is
a very powerful option when it comes to a
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:player being absent from a session.
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:It's also a good option because you don't
really have to make any other
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:considerations, right?
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:If you reschedule, that's that.
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:But there's obviously the other option
where you play anyway.
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:So with that, let's transition away from
this option, rescheduling that's not
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:really the funnest option.
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:but it is the simplest and it's the
easiest.
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:And let's try to make things a little bit
more complicated.
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:There's a few ways to play anyways.
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:The first one is present but
non-participating.
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:And obviously for the next few options,
we're assuming that only one player is
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:absent and that the DM and the rest of the
group have decided to proceed forward
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:regardless of the absence, right?
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:That's basic assumption.
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:Now...
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:As the DM, you have to make the choice of
what happens to the character for who,
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:for, sorry, what happens to the character
who, for the time being, is without a
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:puppet master, right, without their
player.
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:The next obvious and next easiest method
then is present and non-participating.
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:It's simply to have that character be
present but not do anything.
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:Whenever role-playing situations happen,
that character doesn't interact and is
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:basically just a walking potato.
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:This method might work, but more often
than not, it will be comical to the other
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:players who will ask, what does Gregorius
do in this situation?
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:To which you'll have to respond as the DM.
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:Gregorius seems a bit zoned out and
doesn't really respond to the rest of you.
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:While funny, this method sort of breaks
the fourth wall, and it reminds you and
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:the players that this is a game.
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:Decreasing the overall immersion also it
provides a big target on gregarious is
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:back for the other players to steal stuff
from him kind of mess around with him and
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:just kind of See what they can get away
with if your players are wonderful and
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:considerate players They might not mess
around with you know gregarious You know,
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:it's just a character, right?
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:In this case, it wouldn't even be an NPC,
it would just be a C, right, a character.
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:I guess it would be an NPC.
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:But I don't prefer this method because
it's too easy to just transition to one of
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:the other methods anyways, right, you're
just naturally gonna do it.
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:So I feel like doing it this way with a
character being present but not
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:participating is just sort of a
non-decision, as the DM doesn't really
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:decide what to do, right?
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:Besides, we all know that as soon as
combat happens, it will be as if the
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:character isn't there or
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:someone else will take control over the
character.
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:So let's just talk about the other methods
because those are probably gonna happen
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:anyways.
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:So the next method is present and subbed.
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:One method you can employ is the present
and subbed method.
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:In this method, you let someone else at
the table take control of the character.
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:For all intents and purposes, the missing
player is being subbed out or substituted
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:by another player at the table.
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:If you do go with this method, I would put
in a couple stipulations in the gameplay.
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:First of all, I would recommend that the
subbing player does not do any role
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:playing for the missing player.
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:I recommend this because no one wants
words put in their mouths.
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:So if you have someone playing for you,
there is a chance that things would be
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:said that the original player would never
say or things would be done that the
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:original player would never do.
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:or vice versa, right?
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:Things wouldn't be said or wouldn't be
done that they would do.
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:You know, it just gets really confusing
really fast and I would just avoid it.
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:Actually, I have an example.
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:My brother-in-law plays in our group and
he was gone one session and his brother
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:decided to step in and because of his
brother's choices, Drew, right?
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:Ethan is the player I'm talking about and
Drew stepped in to play Ethan's character.
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:Drew ended up murdering a harmless
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:kind of innocent bystander, and that
definitely affected the alignment, or at
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:least the internal choices of this one
character that Ethan was playing, but he
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:wasn't there, right?
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:And he was really angry when he got back.
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:So just avoid it, right?
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:Next, and this actually has to apply
whether you or another player are
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:controlling the missing PC, but can they
die?
194
:In my games, if you are not present...
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:your character can't die.
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:And I might change that and make it so
they have advantage on all death saves or
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:something like that.
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:But that's just because I don't trust
myself or my roles enough to keep the
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:character alive.
200
:So if you are going to die and bleed out,
you don't because you are on loan, quote
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:unquote.
202
:And to me, that's just not fair.
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:No one wants their character to die when
they're not there, right?
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:In your games are your characters whose
players are gone, able to die.
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:If they can, make sure the missing player
knows this, right?
206
:Knows that there is a chance that their
character can die.
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:In fact, that should be a table rule set
up at the beginning of the campaign before
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:any players are ever missing, right?
209
:They should know that.
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:You also need to decide if the missing
player has the right to retcon anything
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:when they return.
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:In my opinion, I would opt against this
except for various role-playing aspects.
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:when it comes to the major choices, the
player shouldn't get to choose what
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:happens when they are gone, right?
215
:They should have the opportunity to say, I
do not want anyone playing my character,
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:you know, but they shouldn't be able to
decide, yes, I wanted to make this
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:decision versus that one.
218
:That said, the players controlling the
characters whose player is missing, right?
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:The player subbing in also shouldn't be
able to make any big decisions with them
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:either.
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:When a character is being subbed, they
really should almost be an NPC that gets
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:to help the party in mostly just combat,
right?
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:Keep it simple.
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:The last option that allows the character
to still remain present is controlling
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:them yourself as the DM.
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:And in my opinion, this can be pretty
simple to do, but it can also get somewhat
227
:annoying.
228
:For example, if your players use digital
character sheets that you, the DM, can
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:see,
230
:then it gets a little easier, right?
231
:If they're using D&D Beyond, you can just
pull that up and you can play the
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:character.
233
:But if they don't, then you'll have to
keep track of those sheets of paper,
234
:right?
235
:Which can get annoying, because you're
already keeping track of so much other
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:stuff.
237
:Also, the more obvious consideration is
that as the DM, you are controlling scores
238
:of baddies, as I just said.
239
:Do you actually want to be in charge of
another character during combat?
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:And my general opinion is to give a player
control of the characters during combat at
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:the very least, depending on how many
adversaries there are, right?
242
:If it's just one, then I'm okay doing it,
but if there's multiple, then I'm giving
243
:that away, right?
244
:And here, there are a few...
245
:So if keeping a character around is so
much energy and focus consuming, why would
246
:anyone choose to keep the character
present instead of just having them leave,
247
:right?
248
:So far we've talked about, if you continue
playing the session...
249
:We've talked about keeping the character
present and having someone else control
250
:them either you or the other players the
other option is Just having the character
251
:leave for a bit.
252
:So why would Anyone just have the
character present rather than having them
253
:leave and there are a few reasons the
first reason is That depending on your
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:party and table rules the character might
have to be present in order to gain
255
:experience And that's how it works in
video games, but that may or may not be
256
:how it works at your table.
257
:For example, I prefer just to have
everyone in my party level up at the same
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:time based on specific plot points, right,
and that's because I don't really like
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:math.
260
:I also don't have any players who leave
for extended periods of time.
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:It's simply just to keep things easy for
me, and I know that's not super game
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:mechanic-y, but that's how I do it.
263
:The second reason a DM might choose to
have a character stick around while the
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:player is not present is because they are
integral.
265
:to the current story at hand.
266
:And this might be the same reason that you
choose to reschedule the session if a
267
:player is not around, because they need to
be present to make certain decisions,
268
:right?
269
:Having the character participate without
the player is not an ideal situation, but
270
:it does allow the story to move on, and it
makes it so the entire party isn't just
271
:waiting on the one person, because that
gets annoying really fast.
272
:The third reason is that it doesn't make
sense for the character to just disappear.
273
:There are different ways to make it so the
character does disappear, which we'll talk
274
:about next, but if you are in the middle
of a dungeon or stuck on a speeding train,
275
:having the character just say, gotta go,
doesn't really make sense and breaks the
276
:immersion.
277
:So now that we've talked about keeping the
character present, let's talk about having
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:the character be absent in addition to
their player.
279
:There are, in my opinion, three ways to
make this happen.
280
:Number one, you have the character stay
behind and the party leaves.
281
:Number two, you have the character
actively choose to leave from where the
282
:party is, or number three, you can have
something else pull the character away,
283
:right?
284
:Some sort of third party force.
285
:When you have the character stay behind,
this is simply that the party decides to
286
:go somewhere and the character decides to
remain where they are, waiting for the
287
:rest of the party to return.
288
:I saw a great example of this in High
Rollers, which is that group from the UK.
289
:One of their players was not there and
they had her character Nova just stay back
290
:at the inn and the party went and did
something else.
291
:Obviously this worked because the party
was staying in an inn in a city.
292
:If they were in the middle of a desert
without food or water, having the
293
:character stay behind wouldn't really make
sense.
294
:It would be nonsense.
295
:When you have your character leave the
party...
296
:When you have your character leave the
party, the character decides that another
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:path is more important than traveling with
the party, even for a day, right?
298
:In the second campaign of Critical Role,
Yasha does this multiple times because
299
:that player had other commitments that she
had to fulfill.
300
:When you choose this method, you have to
have the player or yourself come up with a
301
:logical reason as to why the character
leaves.
302
:If the reason is because I wanted to find
mushrooms in the forest, that either fits
303
:with your campaign or your character, or
it doesn't.
304
:If it doesn't, the other players will not
find that a rewarding answer, and it will
305
:make an annoying situation even more
frustrating.
306
:More than anything, when a character
leaves the party and comes back, that
307
:should be an excellent opportunity
308
:develop the story arc of that character,
providing great role playing for the party
309
:when the character returns.
310
:So don't waste it, use it as an
opportunity to have something cool happen
311
:even off camera technically.
312
:Speaking of the character coming back,
when a character leaves you will have to
313
:decide if they come back or not.
314
:And if the character was just a temporary
thing or the player wants to have a new
315
:character then having them leave is not
a...
316
:bad thing at all.
317
:It's actually a good thing.
318
:In most cases though, the character will
come back and that means that you and the
319
:player who is missing need to try and
figure out a plausible reason not only for
320
:why the character left, but more
importantly, why they came back and how
321
:they came back.
322
:In some instances, it's easy.
323
:Nicholas, Nicholas Trichagius left to go
commune with his deity in the forest.
324
:or Nicholas Trocadius left to go commune
with his deity in the forest.
325
:He came back because he was done.
326
:The only reason that specific scenario
could work is because in this case, the
327
:party remained in the same city, able to
move freely, right?
328
:Nicholas Trocadius could come and go as he
pleased.
329
:If the party had been embroiled in a
dungeon, then having Nick Trocadius show
330
:up would be somewhat weird, unless...
331
:His deity in the forest had shown him a
specific place in the dungeons where he
332
:could find special psychedelic mushrooms.
333
:And that place where those mushrooms were
just so happened to coincide with where
334
:the party is.
335
:Honestly, even that scenario is a bit
far-fetched, but sometimes it works,
336
:right?
337
:Also a quick side note.
338
:D&D is your story.
339
:That means that even though some things
might seem coincidental...
340
:It isn't because you are the story weaver,
tying all the threads together, weaving a
341
:great and beautiful tapestry.
342
:Was it coincidence that Han Solo and
Chewbacca were in the Mos Eisley Cantina
343
:when Ben Kenobi was looking for a way off
Tatooine?
344
:Or was it the Force?
345
:Was it just coincidence that Aragorn,
Legolas, and Gimli were all present at the
346
:Council of Rivendell, or were they
destined to be there?
347
:You know, it doesn't matter because they
were there.
348
:Sometimes I analyze things too much and I
fall into this trap of thinking, what a
349
:funny coincidence that those two
characters were there and then I decide
350
:not to make that part of the story.
351
:In movies and stories, coincidences happen
all the time and honestly, that might be
352
:why the stories or the movies even have a
plot because of the quote unquote
353
:coincidence.
354
:So I know I say that you have to make
things quote unquote make sense and I know
355
:that you've
356
:that I've been using a lot of air quotes,
quote unquote, but just as long as your
357
:story is gripping and entertaining, I
wouldn't worry too much about it.
358
:Side note over, by the way.
359
:So thinking about reasons why a character
would return, there are a few
360
:possibilities, but obviously if you can
think it up, then it's probably gonna
361
:work.
362
:The simplest reason is that, like what
I've already mentioned, the character that
363
:left finished the thing that they went to
do, so they came back.
364
:doesn't need much more explanation than
that.
365
:Another simple reason is that the thing
they went to do led them back to the party
366
:anyways.
367
:This method is great if you want to tie in
the reason they came back with what the
368
:party has going on right now.
369
:An example of this would be Doostar the
Druid left because she had a strange
370
:vision about her communing with nature in
a white glaive, glade, a white glade.
371
:She leaves, finds the white glade.
372
:And while there she has another vision
about finding a black glade and her party.
373
:She starts her search.
374
:She finds the black glade right as a death
knight begins attacking her party in the
375
:very black glade she saw in her vision.
376
:And the party dispatches the black glade
and the death knight.
377
:Dewstar discovers that the center of the
glade there is a grave of an ancient druid
378
:whose spirit is at unrest for some reason.
379
:and now the party's gonna kinda go on that
storyline for a while, you know, so the
380
:character left and returned both for plot
points.
381
:Another simple reason is that the missing
character has her own agenda and then
382
:whatever the party was doing leads the
party to the missing character.
383
:It's somewhat similar to the previous
reason, but there are slight differences.
384
:In this case, the missing character
doesn't really have any intention of
385
:returning to the party or they intend to
return much later.
386
:The party then does the returning, you
could say, surprising everyone involved.
387
:When it comes down to it, you don't need
to make it make sense unless you want to
388
:dwell on the fact that they left and came
back.
389
:If you just want to gloss over that
so-and-so returned, you know, then it's
390
:fine.
391
:You just gloss over it and move on.
392
:The rest of your party was going to move
on too, no problem.
393
:But if you do want to spend time on it,
make sure that it's a satisfying,
394
:fulfilling answer to the question of why
did you come back here and now?
395
:While we're on the subject of players
missing sessions and things like that, I
396
:think it would be apropos to talk about
how communication around missing sessions
397
:happens.
398
:Here's the truth of it.
399
:It's gonna change on a case-by-case basis.
400
:Here's the idea, the ideal that we all
strive for.
401
:Every missing player alerts the group at
least a couple days in advance.
402
:That's kind of the ideal situation.
403
:And I know things don't always pan out
that way, but it's best to alert the group
404
:as soon as you know, you're gonna be
missing a session so that the group can
405
:make decisions and plan what they are
gonna do.
406
:For example, this previous week, I was
sick.
407
:I was hoping I would feel better by the
time and day of our session, but I wasn't.
408
:So I texted the group that I couldn't do
it that day.
409
:On other occasions, members of our group
have had conflicts and they've alerted us
410
:that they would be out of town weeks in
advance, right?
411
:As soon as you know,
412
:tell the group.
413
:This allows the rest of us to decide if we
will continue playing anyways or if we
414
:will hold off and wait until you get back.
415
:So really the only rule for communication
is communicate early, communicate clearly,
416
:communicate often.
417
:What do you do if the missing player is
integral to the story?
418
:Here's where I put on my tough love hat.
419
:The simple fact of the matter is that you
will have to decide yourself, but let me
420
:tell you that no decision is wrong.
421
:If you decide to move along with the
story, that's totally fine.
422
:In fact, maybe the player being gone will
help you write a more creative story.
423
:Either way, you're the DM and you're going
to have to take control over the session
424
:and decide whether it happens, right?
425
:Yes, your players may all decide to skip a
week, but you get to decide if the week is
426
:skipped anytime on a whim, right?
427
:You have more control than any other
player.
428
:And don't forget that.
429
:Also, lord, don't, also, don't lord that
over your players in a really jerky way,
430
:that's just terrible.
431
:But just know that if a player is missing
and their character happens to be a big
432
:decision maker right in the center of
what's going on, you can play without
433
:them.
434
:Like, you don't need them.
435
:They might not like that, but if that's
what it takes to keep your group playing
436
:and having fun, then absolutely do that.
437
:From sickness to work trips to family
conflicts, our players are going to have
438
:lots of reasons why they may or may not be
able to make sessions happen.
439
:That's probably especially true in this
next period of time.
440
:You know, we're gonna have Christmas and
New Year's.
441
:So when your players turn up missing,
don't feel discouraged.
442
:Instead, look at the options we talked
about to see if there is a way to make
443
:your session happen.
444
:And if the player remains missing for more
than 48 hours, call the police.
445
:Lol.
446
:In the end, what matters is that everyone
is having fun.
447
:Also, that was a joke.
448
:I hope none of your players ever actually
turn up missing.
449
:Thank you for listening to today's
episode.
450
:Make sure to head over to Instagram.
451
:Like I said, give us a follow.
452
:We can find us at Monsters.Rent or
HowToBeABetterDM.
453
:Send us a message, like I said.
454
:Tell us your tips, tricks, questions even,
and we'll give you a shout out.
455
:and send it to us there and we'll make it
go live on the show.
456
:And again, like I said, we'll give you a
shout out.
457
:But thanks again, guys.
458
:We'll be back next week for another show.
459
:Until then, let's roll initiative.
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