How to Stay Excited About Being a Dungeon Master (Avoiding DM Burnout)

Welcome and I don't like that. Sorry, today's show is going to be with me and Tanner. We're going to be talking about

a particular topic. Basically as hobbies go, This one requires a lot of dedication and sticktuitiveness. Sometimes

you just don't feel like prepping or running a session, and sometimes you just aren't excited to be a d. M. so in that

regard, Tenner and I today are going to talk about how to stay excited and avoid done And master burn out. Um, before

we get into that any any thoughts, Tenor, you know, how are you doing?

Thank you. thank you. thank you for asking Justin doing well Doing well. It's been a busy week. Just been. so,

my dad kind of as a birthday present to my wife. we moved into the new house and we had this idea. We were like.

Oh, let's do an accent wall. That will be fun, you know, in our master bedroom. And and so luckily, my dad.

Well, my mom volunteered my dad's time and we'd pay for the materials and he's been helping us So much. But like

boy, how does it take a while? like?

Uh,

I've been helping

uh,

as much as I can. but you know it's kind of. it reminds me of when I was a kid how my dad asked for our help

all the time. but half the time I was just standing there holding something for him. you know, I kind of feels like

that. Sometimes it's like Oh, when I'm standing, you know, and there's like a lot of stuff to do. We could help.

but you know when he's calking, you know around it, I can't do anything, so that's that's been this week's adventure

just Every evening feeling like like, like a man just getting hand doing yourself. Stuff is not just for men,

it's for everybody who wants to have a bad time, but it's it's been. you know, kind of interesting. Otherwise

just just doing good. going to watch a Super Bowl for the first time in years, because my wife loves Rana,

Uh,

so that

yeah,

should

that

be

makes

interesting,

sense.

too.

Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. I, I love not painting walls

Nick.

in a house, you know like that's One of my favorite things to do is to not paint walls in a hous.

Favorite hobby. Not painting

Yeah,

Will.

exactly exactly Faking. Hate it. Um, but yeah, speaking of hating it, Obviously we want to avoid hating dungeons and

dragons, so obviously the first question I think we should ask is what do you think causes a particular Dem to lose

excitement about being a dungeon master? And and obviously you know this isn't talking about those people who were foisted

into being a dungeon master. This is for the people who heard about it were super excited to try. it. Loved it, and

then slowly just the flame went away.

Yeah, honestly, I think that it comes down to a few factors right and I think it's the same. It's well, not

the same, but similar factors. To what makes you feel burned out or unexcited about any any other part of

your life, like your work or anything right where it's like monotony, mixed with with strain or overload,

Could be another word for that mixed with just not feeling. You know. well, I was going to say not feeling stretched.

I guess that that's why people hate monotony, because they just hate not experiencing something new, not feeling

stretched. And so I think that that's kind of a common issue with Deming is because it takes a lot out of you.

You know you're planning a lot, whether you're doing a pre written adventure or you know, self written it. It

just takes a lot of effort from you, and then sometimes you and the players get into a rut where you're doing

the same thing. You know. you're in the middle of a big campaign And it's not like you Just suddenly break off.

Or at least it doesn't feel like you can suddenly just break off and do something different and

Hm,

that's going to get to you. You know,

Yeah, that's a really good point. you know, I think, Excuse me, I think a little bit about like relationships. And

how when in marriage you know you get complacent. You do the same things over and over again because it's more efficient,

you know, quote quote, but it tends to make things more like Lester, Um, so being a d. M. how, how can we and I'm maybe

asking this for myself. How can we like adding new things or try new methods like? I guess you know. Is that a question?

You know. that's a question I can work with. Thank you.

Yeah,

M. How can we add in new things? Honestly? it just comes down to to planning, really, and self awareness. Because

one of the biggest things that happens, and like I said, this happens in other parts of life as well as damming,

is that we just get into the grind, you know, and we're just going day to day session to session. And and you,

and you feel You barely have enough time to plan for the normal stuff, let alone thinking about. Hey, am

I happy with this? Can I change it? And so, taking some time to to plan and think about how you want to change.

it is huge, which, which is one reason why, one of the things I recommend is you know, doing a more major

switch up. just kind of on the fly. Um, So like if you're doing a campaign, let's say and your players kind of

nat Stopping point. You've been feeling burned out for a second. That's a great time to do. you know at least

a couple o different things. One is you know. Talk with another player to the side may be leading up to this

and be like Hey, we're going to be hitting a stopping point. I would love for you to kind of run a few sessions

as a side quest, and it could be as entirely different setting different characters. or it could be you know

a side quest for for the S players. you know. Um, that's and then that would give you the time that you need

to re evaluate your deming and be like Okay. Where could I spice things up? you know, or you know, if you're

coming to natural breaking point, you could let's say that you pre write your own content and you're like,

Oh, I'm tired of writing new content every week. Vhen, when you're coming to natural, break point, think okay,

Maybe you could just pop in Pre written stuff that other people have made right. Um, and there's so much of

it out there, so it's like And that would give you kind of the weight off your chest of having to create everything

by yourself. You know,

Yeah, I also wonder if you could do that even even aside from a natural breaking point, Like, let's say, you're in a dungeon

and you're chasing the big bad boss, you know, and it's kind of a slug. The players, you can tell they're kind of getting

bored with the dungeon. Well, they come into a room that obviously has this big red button that no player can resist

pushing. and boom, they're transplayed their transport To another. You know plain where they're doing something completely

different. They thought they were going to finish the story, but now they're like who you know. It kind of changes.

the. because, because when you get in a routine, your players will also get in a routine. And so when you can kind

of shock their system by being like No, Something completely different. They're gonna be like who. Wake up. What's going on?

you know, but I do think you have to do that a little bit right. Like if you're in the middle of Boss fight and he's

about to die, just let him die and then do the switch up.

Yeah,

you know,

yeah,

like like, Don't pull the rug out from under your player's feet.

Yeah, but I love your suggestion because it's like. Hey, there's many ways that you can mit adventure. Give

the players a different feel to the adventure Right and it doesn't necessarily have to be. You know. After

they've Ben. like the the check point boss for the

No,

adventure. you know. And so I have a question. like what right now do you regularly do to keep excited about

D and d?

Well, I just started keeping better notes of what my players talk about or do during the session And this is more

for like, If I come up with an n, p. C name that is important for one of the players, I write that down and I also

have a habit of, or at least I'm working on this habit. Excuse me,

Thank you of writing every day a little bit, and I have a certain amount that I write. And so when I look at the notes

of the previous session and I see this name Hesrael, and I know that Oh, that has to do with my wife's character and

part of a new kind of art that they're going through That they don't even know about that kind of excites me because

it's like, Oh, I get to plan this thing for them. So really, I guess what I'm saying is pulling out though Those interesting

points in the sessions that I know are interesting to me because I know that they are going to be interesting to my

players and then planning time to expand on those even if I'll never get to them. right. Um, That excites me a little

bit. I think, also, thinking of the story in the long term, and being like, Oh wow, this thing is going to happen and

I'm kind of excited for it and I can't wait to get there. Um, that helps me as well, and I have to say, one other thing

that I like is feeling okay. telling my players Hey, can we skip this week?

Yeah, I totally agree.

M

You know if you're if you're feeling burned out on. one thing that you definitely shouldn't do is just pile

on more burn out. You know

All right.

you should be open with your players about. I love that.

Yeah, one other thing I did notice as well is that in some sessions I'm quicker to like. Okay, everyone's here. Let's

get into the game in other sessions When I'm just like tired or something. I let the I let the pre game chit chat go

on a little bit longer, and that seems to relax me and kind of help me kind of distress, a little bit before the game,

So that way I can take care of the game and actually give a better Experen, And I find in those instances I'm a little

bit better at improvising and things like that, so I think you know, outside of D and D, just making sure that you

are relaxing yourself on purpose and you are taking time to distress. whatever that means for you, I think those

are very, very big parts as well.

Yeah, I totally agree, and I think the thing that you brought up about you know, waiting like at the start

of the session and kind of letting that friendly vibe continue, and kind of help you get the energy. I think that's

an important aspect here is that you know. I think there's two issues that a lot of campaigns have that can

lead to a D. M. just not feeling excited. One is if you know, your friendly hangout suddenly just became all

business, you know, and you're just Okay. Let's get through this session. I have a lot planned. Then it's like

Hey, you're kind of you know, putting the cart before the horse a little bit and putting you know, having a

good time, which is, I mean, that's why we play dandy, right. You put that ahead of that. Now on the other end

of the spectrum, you have a real issue of of pacing where the d. m and the players just aren't super engaged

because the game isn't going at a pace and isn't requiring a lot out of them. Because they're just going so slow,

you know, And like this can happen in battles. I see so much in battles where it's like Oh, the D M isn't keeping

the players turn short. That players are spending forever thinking about their moves while they're on their turn

instead of beforehand. Or you know, the d M is letting the players discuss their next move. Uh, like as in,

just like in like general moves like way too long. If you can cut down on those or set a timer, or or any

of them Kind of tools that help you keep things just snapping and spinning along. then your game is going to

have a lot more energy just naturally because things are gonna be coming much faster. So yeah,

Yeah, I agree. I, I think going back to you know writing excuses. I love that podcast. One thing they always say is you

know if if things start get getting boring, you need to have the bad guys kick down the door, and that leads me to

believe. So the topic of the podcast today is how to stay excited about being a dungeon master, and then kind of parenthesis,

avoid dam, burn out, and I think that's only one half of staying excited to be a D. M. So Now, speaking of spectrums

on one end, there's kind of d. M. burn out where you know you're doing too much. You've loaded yourself too much and

you can't handle the weight. and then, on the other hand you're you're bored, right, You feel like things are going

too slow, And I think back to what you said about being self aware. You really need to understand which side of the spectrum

you're on both in life and in your deming career, Because if you're bored, you Want to add more metaphorical weight onto

your shoulders like you want to add better challenges, so you need to look up rules that you don't know really how to

run, and add that to your campaign. If you're overwhelmed, you need to pull back and simplify and kind of reach that happy

middle. You know what I mean.

Yeah, I totally agree. I think that people have very different issues, but you know, I really like how you talked

about writing earlier, because I thought about that and in my personal life I noticed a huge difference when

I'm regularly like writing my thoughts down, specifically, kind of keeping a journal like a daily journal

because it helps me contextualize what I'm doing. It helps me think about what I want to achieve. It also helps

me just like put into Words what I'm feeling. And and especially when I'm feeling, burn out. it's important

for me to realize that instead of just like having it in the back of my mind that like, Oh, man, I feel really

tired or Oh, I'm not interested in

Yeah,

whatever right, and I think that's true for deming to where it's you know. if you can make time for you know,

just introspection. Uh, maybe you know if you guys do journal personally, you know Journal about being a D.

M. You know That would help you have that introspection that you need to decide which end of the spectrum you're on.

Like you were talking about whether you're doing too much and you need some help from other players, or you need

to just cut way back or or do a pre written adventure instead of self written, M,

Yeah,

then you'll know that, but if it's the other issue where you're just not doing enough, or the game you know

is just not meeting its full potential, because you're not doing a few simple things, then Kind of writing, Doing

that introspection will help you avoid that as well.

Yeah, you know, I really like that one thing I realized as you were speaking, I think we need to do two more episodes

on this kind of topic, one on like things specifically to do with Burn out,

Yeah,

and then one on things to do with boredom. And I think you know we could come up with some pretty good tools or resources,

but I really like that suggestion to journal, and obviously Ou know everyone journals differently, so keep that in mind,

but I think it's fascinating that this question of how to They're excited about being a dungeon master. A lot of it

is about self regulation, self understanding, and to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of of the term self care, but it

is about caring for yourself. You know, if you had a friend who was just super stressed out wasn't getting enough

sleep, You tell them to go take a nap right. There's nothing wrong with taking a nap right before your Dungeon Master

game. Your session, you know, but often We look at taking a nap as childish, but you know it could be a powerful thin,

but that's just an example, but I think it's fascinating that with this topic a lot of it is outside of Dungeons and Dragons.

how you're running your life.

Yeah, I totally agree, and that's something I'm really glad you mentioned at the end because like if you're

feeling burned out in other parts of your life, Deming can certainly help if you're if you're not burned out,

but like boredom. or it's something like that. D. M can help because you're spending time with friends like

I think, regardless of where you're at, whether it's boredom or burn out, spending time with people that you

care about and having a good time that No help regardless, But as a dungeon master you just really need to realize

that that it does require a good amount out of you. And so if you're feeling burned out in every other part

of your life, then I don't know if you know being a super active dungeon master is for you right now. Unless

you can do some of that introspection elsewhere and find out how to you Now find some balance. you know.

Yeah, yeah, I mean to that point, if you are reaching a breaking point, it might be time to kind of shed the mantle

of dungeon master for a time and just be a player. you know. Go find

Yeah,

a game where you can play. Have fun, and just enjoy the game again, and then you can come back and be a dungeon master

and kind of take on all that stress and so forth.

Yeah, I totally agree, And if you do that, just as you know, because I know a lot of people who were dungeon

masters for a while, and then you know they switched to being player, and they kind of have a hard time switching

back to being a dungeon master. What I'd really recommend is you know if you do that and you definitely should.

If you're feeling burned out, then you know a way to stay excited about or get that kind of excitement up

about being a dam. Is you know, After you've taken a second and you've been a player for for a bit, start

studying a new campaign or a new one shot, or just small adventure or something you know, study something that

someone else made. Get ideas. you know, just because you have a lot more time, since you're not actively demming,

and it kind of can give you the luxurious approach to preparing, which is like Hey, you're preparing out of excitement

versus need, Because you got a session coming up and then when you do And to be a d. M again, you'll have you

know some sessions ready, you know, just just from your previous prep, and you'll be excited about him because

you've been. You've had this break.

Yeah, I like. I like that so much. Um, so all in all, Summary today, if you are having trouble being excited about

being a D. M, you can either be burned out or bored, or kind of a mix of the two, and we're going to come out with

two more episodes, one on each. but our top recommendations is care for yourself. You know, think about your life as a whole,

and how being a Dungeon Master impact set, and vice versa, and look at it holistically be self aware and be self

Passionate. Uh, and listen to our future episodes to learn how to be less bored and less burnt out. Any other things,

you'd like to add, Tanner?

Uh, uh, beyond the fact that I think you're all amazing and I hope that you're taking care

Hm,

of yourselves. No, it's been great talking with you, Justin.

Excellent, Well, likewise, Tanner, and we will see you all next week for another amazing episode, But until then let's