Should You Invite Guests to Play In Your D&D Campaign?

Welcome back to How to be a Better DM, the

official podcast of Monsters.Rent.

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I'm your host today, Justin Lewis, here

with my friend and colleague Tanner

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Weyland.

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Any words to share with the audience,

Tanner?

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Um, words to share.

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Well, I heard the word your curial the

other day on the podcast and I thought it

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was really interesting.

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But, but aside from that, hi, hi

everybody.

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Glad to be here with you.

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I do like that word.

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I don't know what it means, but I'll have

to look that up later.

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Because today we are talking about

something that I've actually wanted to

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talk about for a while.

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D&D is such a fun game that obviously we

all love to play.

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And I know I say we all do stuff.

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I say we all a lot, but I'll try not to

say that.

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Usually though, when you have something

that you love, you tend to invite others

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to join with you.

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In the case of D&D, that can kind of lead

to large parties and tables that are

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overcrowded and unmanageable games,

especially for DMs.

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I myself suffer from the same problem.

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But what if you just invited someone to

play for only a couple weeks, right?

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What if they were allowed at the table

only for a little bit of time as a guest?

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Is that something you can do?

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How does that work?

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What might go wrong?

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That's...

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Go ahead.

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I totally agree that it's something that I

think a lot of DMs worry about because I

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mean, for a great majority of us, I would

argue we have a hard enough time just

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getting up the courage to ask our friends,

our good friends who are interested in D&D

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to be part of a campaign or a one shot,

right?

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We're like, that takes about as much

courage or goodwill that we have with our

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friends to ask that.

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time, you know, gaming sesh or, or someone

who maybe you aren't as familiar with or a

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new friend, you know, that's, it's kind of

nerve wracking, right?

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Yeah, yeah.

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So let's get into it.

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First, I want to talk about, let's

discuss, should you try having guests at

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your table, or should you not?

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And let's kind of explore both options.

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So go ahead.

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Um, I mean...

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say that if you want to share the

experience of D&D, I mean absolutely,

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right?

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If you have a good party of players who

know how to make the game fun, who you

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enjoy kind of DMing, then inviting someone

else that you would like to introduce to

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the whole, you know, to the whole genre of

tabletop role playing, especially D&D,

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that just seems like a win, right?

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Absolutely.

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Honestly, um, it's one of the best ways to

spread the hobby.

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Uh, and I know that sounds really weird.

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It's like a virus, but DND.

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I mean, I mean, when you first, well, uh,

Nowadays DND is being portrayed a lot more

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in pop culture in a positive light than it

has been in the past and

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That said, that makes people a little bit

more willing to try it.

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That said, people are still seeing that it

does seem to take some sort of a

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commitment, right?

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And when people ask me, you know, how long

does D&D take?

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I'll say, you know, three to four hours is

like a normal session that we usually

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play.

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Like I think my group usually does three

hours.

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That's kind of our standard.

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And when I tell them that we've been going

for three years, they kind of balk at

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that, you know, unless they're actually

into it.

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And I think.

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inviting someone as a guest to say, hey,

you know, we're playing this Friday.

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How about you just come play as a

character I can help you make and see if

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you like it.

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And if you don't, that's totally fine.

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If you do, I'll only let you play for like

two more sessions or something like that,

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right?

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Yeah, and that's something to consider as

well.

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You know, if it's someone looking for a

long term place in your game, maybe don't

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give them too much false hope with just

like, hey, yeah, come and come and join.

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Unless you're willing to take on another

person.

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That's something that should always be on

the table here is like, hey, it would suck

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to give someone one opportunity to have

fun with you and then be like, oh, we're,

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we're all full over here.

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So maybe before you, if you're going

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to invite someone for a one-time guest

player experience, you should honestly be

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willing, if they wanted to, to have them

join for a longer period of time, right?

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Because that's just being a good friend.

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But I think that maybe...

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Oh, go ahead.

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would actually add that you can, and I

think I've done this in the past, when you

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invite them, explain to them that this is

a short-term thing, right?

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That there will come a time in the story

where their character will part ways and

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they will not be invited to play at the

table anymore.

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And it's kind of hard saying that, right?

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So I wouldn't necessarily use those words.

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I would probably just say, hey, would you

wanna come play D&D with us?

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I want to invite you as a guest for only a

couple weeks, right?

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Make it very clear that it's only a couple

weeks, you know?

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And if it goes longer, you can say,

actually, can you come back one more week?

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But like Tanner said, if you don't say

that, you will have to be willing to have

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that conversation of, I should've told you

this, you know, and you're probably gonna

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hurt someone's feelings, or you have to...

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bring them into the fold, right?

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You got to do one or the other.

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Yeah, exactly.

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OK, so just to jump ahead a little bit, I

think once you've made that decision,

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like, hey, this person seems cool.

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I want to invite them.

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And you've invited them.

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You're probably wondering at that point.

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How could I do this cleanly?

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How can I do this so it won't disrupt the

flow of the game?

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Because I've seen it, you know, I've seen

this in a lot of podcasts and a lot of

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campaigns where a guest player is just

allowed to portray an important NPC in the

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story, right?

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Or a new NPC, right?

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Either one works, but they basically get

to inhabit someone that's already in the

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world.

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And so it's no loss

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can't make it a week or if they stop

playing altogether, right?

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Which is typically the case with these

guest players.

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And so I think that's a great way to make

it work seamlessly into your campaign.

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Absolutely.

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In fact, just an example from my own

campaign, my brother-in-law and

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sister-in-law moved down here from, I live

in Utah, they moved here from Spokane,

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Washington for the summer.

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And my brother-in-law loves D&D.

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He's played, like when he's visited

before, he's sort of done kind of

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guesting, right?

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But in this instance, he, a couple times

actually, because his schedule was a

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little bit off and on.

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He made a character and then I sort of had

the character just disappear Right the

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first time the second time I had him kind

of assumed the role of a character an NPC

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that the party was dealing with and Him

creating the character profile for that

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sort of fleshed out the NPC a lot more and

then now that he left Just because he

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wasn't that consequent the character

wasn't that consequential he was just sort

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of helping around I Didn't need to mention

him very much at all

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and the story continues.

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So that's something I would definitely

recommend, like Tanner said, is when

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introducing the characters, you need to be

deliberate about how you do it.

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Another example, I had my friend's

brother-in-law join us because he had just

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gotten back from serving a mission to, I

don't remember where he served, but he

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served a two-year mission, so he was kind

of new to being, not serving people all

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the time, right?

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And I said, hey, join us for a little bit.

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I introduced him in a very specific way.

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It was in the underdark, they found him,

and he sort of latched onto their group

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because there was no one else.

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And then he actually ended up dying.

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So that was sort of like a perfect way to

make it so he didn't keep playing with us.

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But that's another example.

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You just gotta be very deliberate.

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Yeah, exactly.

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And so I think that a key thing with a

guest player, depending on your

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relationship with them and also what

they're hoping to get out of it, you're

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going to want to tailor some of your

gameplay or your DMing to that, right?

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If they're new to D&D, which I think

that's gonna be the case for a lot of

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these guest players.

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you're going to want to make the next few

sessions where they're playing extra fun.

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And you know, you're going to want to have

a variety of stuff.

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You're going to want to have combat that

the guest player can actually do well at,

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right?

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So if they don't know how to how to build

their own character, you do that for them.

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Or you have another player, you know, you

can delegate, right?

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Other players, I mean, they don't have to

plan a whole session.

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Be like, hey, we're going to invite this

guy.

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Can you help him build a character, you

know?

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Delegate it out.

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Save some time for yourself.

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And then make sure that the character is

built well so that they can roll well for

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like, charisma stuff or for combat.

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But on the other hand, if they're more

experienced, then you might wanna find out

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what they enjoy about D&D and make sure

that the next few sessions have that

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specifically, right?

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Yeah, and I think it's important to also

say at this point, we probably should have

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said it sooner, that before you get super

excited and you're like, yes, I can

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finally invite this one person, you have

to make sure it's okay with your group.

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I think that's one thing that I didn't do

right when I've invited people before.

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I just sort of surprised my group.

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Luckily, they were awesome and they just,

they were actually excited about it, but

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going back in time, I would have.

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sit my group down and said, hey, I want to

experiment bringing guests in from time to

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time.

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Is that okay with you guys?

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When you do that though, you have to be

aware that it's very probable your players

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will, well, it's probable they will find

someone they want to invite and bring to

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the table.

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And you're gonna have to be at least

willing to talk about that.

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Yeah, and then like if they start bringing

other people then you also have to be more

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flexible maybe in just your interpersonal

reaction, just how you interact with them.

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Because the thing is when it's you

personally and you meet someone and

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they're like oh I love D&D but then if you

hate their personality or at least if

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you're like oh I don't really jive well

with them then you can just keep your

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mouth zipped right and you're like

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They don't need to know that I'm running a

DM session, or they don't need me to

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invite them.

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But if other players are inviting their

own guest players, there's no guarantee,

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right?

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And so I think that if it's a case like

that, you want to let them know and be

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like, hey, yeah, we can have them for a

couple of times, set an expectation with

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your player who invited them.

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They're like, yeah, we could do, this

might even be a good opportunity to do a

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one shot or a two session kind of shot,

right?

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Where you're like, oh, yeah, let's have

them play.

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In fact, let's just do a separate one.

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And then you kind of like...

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give that player a trial period in a way.

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You know, you just wanna be aware because

there's always the chance that someone

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enters your group of players who doesn't

mesh with the rest of the people.

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And that's not bad on their part, it's not

bad on your part, but sometimes it happens

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and you just wanna be aware and set

yourself up with some soft boundaries so

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that you guys all still have fun.

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for sure.

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And to that point, I think it's okay if

anyone invites a guest, it's okay for you

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to sit them down or text them or call them

and sort of coach them on the culture of

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the table and sort of the norms, as well

as your expectations as a dungeon master.

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And it would be a good idea to do sort of

the similar thing to

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other players at the table if you're

bringing in a new guest, right?

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Uh, because if, if it's, well, when I mean

a new guest, a person new to D and D, if

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the other players are sort of not really

helping them, then that's going to give

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them a bad experience.

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Uh, but also you want to talk to that

person and coach them because if they're

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sort of just stealing the limelight all

the time, none of the other players are

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going to have a good experience.

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So you have to make sure everyone, like

you said, Tanner, everyone is having a

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good time.

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Yeah, if you've ever had, you know, your

mom or dad or someone, an adult being

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like, hey, this person is new to the class

or new to the neighborhood or something,

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can you make sure you play nice with them?

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You know, essentially you need to have

that version of a conversation, a DM

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version of that conversation with your

players and be like, hey, this person's

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new, or hey, this person is really

interested in playing but they're a little

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nervous, please give them opportunities to

speak,

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over them, include them in roleplay, you

know, and also give them suggestions if

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they have questions about how combat

works, you know.

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I think that that's a very simple thing

you can do that a lot if you have a good

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relationship with your players they're

gonna take that, you know, of course they

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will, why wouldn't they?

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But beyond that I also think that you need

to, and I love what you said about like

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explaining

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the basics of the culture of gaming at

your table because we've said this before

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where like, hey, when you first get a

group of people together to become a

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long-term...

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D&D group, right?

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You kind of have to set expectations of

like, hey, this is how I run things.

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If you have any questions, do this.

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After a session, I'm gonna talk to you

about these things.

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You set expectations, kind of like a

session zero thing.

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And any guest player that comes in,

they're not gonna have that.

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And it's not necessarily fair that you

don't give, have a brief conversation and

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be like, yeah, here's the things that are

core to our party.

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Here's some basic rules

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have in terms of just interactions and any

questions you know

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Exactly.

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And honestly just thinking back of the

different times where I've invited people,

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I'm thinking of all these mistakes that I

made because I definitely didn't do those

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two, you know, sitting my players down or

sitting the guests down.

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And I definitely think that hampered the

session.

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And actually, the session in question

brings up another point that I...

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recommend is when you bring in a guest,

you do need to make sure the character

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fits in a story, it fits in the story in a

way that the other player characters want

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to do, want them to sort of adventure with

them.

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So the example I'm thinking of, my

sister-in-law decided to try and play with

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us and at the time my players were still

in the Astral Sea, right?

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They were on a space station.

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and they had just gotten there and my

thought process was like, hey, you know,

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like, as soon as they get there, this

guest character will bump into them

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running from some other big creature.

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Right.

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And then I had this whole plot of like

this player character or this guest

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character had lost her memory and she

wanted them to help her and, and they

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would go into the belly of this, the space

station, they'd find this obelix and

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you know, they'd fight it and the Obelix

had stolen her memories and then she gets

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her memories back and she realizes she's a

time traveler and she finds her ship and

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goes back in time and then, you know,

that's, that's her session, right?

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Uh, but what happened was, you know, she

bumps into them.

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She's like, Hey, this big guy's chasing

me.

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The party, you know, scares the big guy

off.

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And then they're like, who are you?

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And she explains and they're like, okay,

whatever.

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We don't care.

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And they just like went on their way.

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And so like this whole story of this

character that I helped her make was just

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like gone.

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And it really made for sort of an awkward

session for her and that was her first

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session.

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I think I did her a big disservice in not

making it a little bit more intertwined.

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Yeah, that's a really great point where

it's like, you know, especially if they're

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a guest player, you want fewer loose

threads with how you introduce their

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character into the story.

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All right.

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And yeah, that might feel railroad-y, but

you gotta do it.

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Otherwise, you're lining up the dominoes

in a way that's not gonna be satisfying.

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I also think that, you know, when

you're...

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when you're thinking about, you know, this

whole question, because I know we're

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wrapping up here, but

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You know, we've said a lot of things like,

hey, do this, don't do that.

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Consider these different points.

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In the end, I would really just encourage

you, if you have anyone that you want to

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invite, you know, do it.

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And maybe this is my parent moment of

being like, hey, be nice.

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But basically I think that D&D is such a

fun thing, that if you find someone that

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you have, you know, the thought, or that

your players have the thought, like, hey,

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this would be really fun to play with

them.

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You know, do it.

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D&D is a great thing because you can

interact with people at a different level

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and you can make friends You know

different friends new friends And so, you

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know if you don't take anything away from

today At least take away that you should

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try and look for opportunities to

introduce people not only to the game But

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also to having a more fun time with you,

right and then hopefully, you know with

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experience and with some of this advice

We've given you You can kind of take it to

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the next level and prepare them back

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prepare your party better but you know

failing all that it's still totally worth

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it to invite a guest

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I couldn't agree more, honestly.

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I think that is probably the biggest

takeaway I would give is just try it.

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It will spice things up for your story

because there's gonna be a new face at the

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table.

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Everyone's kinda gonna be abuzz with

energy just because there's new energy at

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the table.

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But also, if you need more reason, go look

at Critical Role.

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They've done this a couple times.

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Go look at High Rollers in the UK.

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They've done this a couple times.

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And it always makes for sort of a fun

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situation because you can call back to

those characters, those sort of iconic

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characters that the guest played later in

the campaign and it sort of gives sort of

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a nostalgia effect, the callback, it's

just a good all around thing.

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So last thing we're going to say is do it

and let us know how it goes.

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You can actually reach out to us on

Instagram.

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We are at howtobetabetterdm or at Monsters

Rent, I think it is.

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Yeah.

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We couldn't put the dot in there because

Instagram's dumb.

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It should be Monsters.Rent, but it's at

MonstersRent.

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Yeah, send us a message.

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We'd love to see how it went.

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But we're going to be back next week for

another awesome episode from me and

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Tanner.

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And until then, let's go ahead and roll

initiative.

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Thank you.